One of the last pictures of our holiday session – after many “one heel” spins.

Early yesterday evening, I asked my son what he wanted most for Christmas.  Fishing, of course, to be sure I had bought what he wanted.  Somewhat to my surprise, he said, “Nothing.”  ”All I want is a ton of snow, so I can go sledding with Daddy, Molly & M.”    I was a bit taken aback, yet not.   And all of a sudden, a haphazard mix of emotions effortlessly roiled to the surface.  Part of me was sickened that I would ask such a ridiculous question.   Part of me was proud that my son’s family means more to him than material things.  Part of me was so very grateful to God that he’s developing the character I hope and pray continues.   And many more feelings I struggle to pin down correctly.

And in his response, I felt my internal compass return.  After many long days and nights working here, I needed that.  It has been a very busy couple of months for all of us.  And it also let me know that it is time for me to take a  much needed break until the new year.

For the next few days, I’ll be putting together cookie trays for our Christmas Eve family party and preparing to decorate gingerbread houses before bed on Christmas Eve.  In between all of this, kisses will drop like rain on tiny blonde heads.  Any activity will be interrupted to sing along to “The Grinch Song” and “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.”  Oh, and we’re not allowed to speak when “Carol of the Bells” is on, my son’s favorite.   We’ll pen thank you notes to Santa.  Carrots will be carefully chosen for the reindeer.

And for you, my friends, my hope is that you will enjoy this time as much as I do.  That your days ahead are filled with blessings.  That you find happiness in the things that cost nothing.  That you find great joy in living.

Last, but certainly not least, I’d like to say that that I’m so grateful for you – for your prayers, inspiration, encouragement, and participation.  Truly.  From the bottom of my heart, I thank you.  What I do here is nothing without YOU.  Thank you for being a part of this journey with me.

Many blessings,
Melissa

Note: Store match-ups will continue to be posted during the break, as will all routine posts (restaurant, etc.) 

Photo Credit

If you’re new around here, you may not recall any previous posts like this.  I don’t do them often.  But since my health ordeal last year, I do get questions about how I’m feeling.  Well, I’ll get you up to speed on that before I tell you anything else.

I’m smack in the middle of a three month Prilosec trial after loads of tests that showed nothing.  At the end of the trial, I’ll be weaned off to see if I have further problems.  Given the way I feel today underneath that purple blanket, I’ll be put back on it or an alternating regimen of Prilosec and Zantac.  But for now, I can eat again.  I’m not afraid to exercise for fear that I’ll go through another starvation period and lose too much weight.   Life is starting to look consistently normal.  I’m grateful for any victory, and this is a big one, but I’ll continue to pray for healing.

Now, I’ve got some even better news!
Last week, I decided to go Groupon hunting for you.   That’s nothing new.  But when I did, I saw something extraordinary…well, to me anyway.  I happened across a Groupon for the Historic Hale Springs Inn in Rogersville, Tennessee.   I was frozen.   The only thing this side of  my immediate family that can tear me away from working on great deals is my family history.

I looked at the little snippet of a map embedded in that page and immediately noted that the Register of Deeds was within walking distance of the Inn.   I didn’t just want to see this place.  I needed to see this place.  I’ve always wanted to be in this place.  For just one moment.  For the last 15 years.

“15 years?”, you ask,  ”That’s not very long.”  No, it sure isn’t, but we didn’t even know my Mitchell’s were here until 15 years ago.  I found them.  My mother had been searching long before I was born.  When I was a very young girl,  I have many memories of  her hauling me to libraries to do research.  She never stopped, but did slow down as the years rolled by.  Back in those days, I never paid much attention to what she was doing.  Then all of a sudden, shortly after my father passed away, I realized I knew so little about him.    Perhaps more sadly, in the last 20 years since his passing, I recall even less.  Nevertheless,  his passing started me on a journey to learn about my family that will last the rest of my life, and that journey is a gift.  Believe me.  It has touched and changed me in ways nothing else has, can or ever will.  And part of that journey involves Hawkins and Greene Counties in Tennessee, where my Mitchell’s, Pickering’s, Malone’s, Carter’s, and others lived for nearly 100 years after the Revolutionary War.

I’ve been to East Cape Girardeau, Cairo, Anna, and Thebes in Illinois looking for them.  I’ve been to Cape Girardeau, Burfordville, Lutesville, Marble Hill, Malden, and Senath in Missouri looking for them.  I’ve also been to  St. Francis, Piggott and Rector in Arkansas…what else?  Looking for them.

With all of this swirling around in my head, I sat and stared at the picture of that Inn, shaking my head at the name.  Hale.  Mary Ann Hale Gray Johnson Pickering Mitchell is my third great grandmother.

There were three days left to purchase, so I decided to leave that window open (in more ways than one) and move on to something else.  After all, I’m not sitting on a gold mine for such a trip.  I’m not even sitting on a penny for this trip.  Haha…

Well, I looked at it again the following day.  And again the following day.  Then because I couldn’t let it go, I decided to tell the Facebook group that I started a few years ago –  East Tennessee Genealogy, of course.  ;)

And on the last day, with just a few hours remaining, I bought two nights.   I’ve yet to come up with a third night since I’m holding out for The General Morgan Inn in Greene County, and it’s fully booked.    Even without the third night (which I’ll find somewhere), I will be in Hawkins County with my family for my birthday.  Most importantly, I’ll be with my mother (God willing), who turns 80 this year.

You already know how I feel about my mother.   I can hardly wait to take a picture of her by the Nolichucky River.  Or somewhat near it if it’s scary.  Haha…I’ll caption that picture this way, “You see that hill?  Yep, just over that hill and that other hill about, oh say,  2 miles off is the ROARING Nolichucky River.”

Below is a biographical snippet about my great grandfather, Enos Mitchell.  It was featured in the Premium Messenger Album, an (I believe) annual publication about current ministers of the day.  My son’s middle name is Mitchell specifically to honor this man.

I haven’t figured out what to do with the site while I’m gone, but I’m sure I’ll come up with something.  Even if I don’t, I know you’ll all be here waiting to hear all about my trip.  I can hardly wait for October.

I wish I could send a card to each and every one of you.  Even though I can’t, you can still get a look at some of it here.

These are my precious children.  Now, can you see why I cry about everything?   Sheesh…booo hoooo again.

And no, this is not my holiday message to you all.  You can expect that in the next week or so.

For those of you who know me – either from being here for a while or from AFC, you know that I absolutely love what I do.  I’ve been blogging and doing match-ups in some form or another for around 3 years, and I cannot imagine doing anything else. Lately, my body doesn’t seem to agree with me.  My doctors are working diligently to try and figure out what’s going on, but every test is coming up empty.  That’s good, in many ways, and bad in others.  I’ve not run through ALL the available tests yet, but I only have a few more to go.  So, as I said, if you’ve been around me a while, you know that it’s strange that I’m not posting as much.  And when I do, it’s with much less enthusiasm.

What’s going on?  
All I can tell you is that it started around mid-July.  I had, what felt like, a runner’s type cramp on my right side under my ribs…while I was doing nothing.   I immediately thought it was my gallbladder.  I had two more spasms in the next two weeks and each was more severe than the last.  They also seemed to coincide with eating fatty foods.  Again, this supported my gallbladder theory.  Because all my doctors agreed, they sent me for two ultrasounds and a HIDA scan (more specific gallbladder test) to determine what was going on.  All were normal.  Today, I went in for an endoscopic procedure and that showed no abnormalities either.  Again, these are good things.

What’s the problem?  
I now have days where I can eat nothing.  Period.  I can consume very little fat every day or I’m going to have severe problems – extreme nausea and occasional vomiting.   In the last month, I’ve lost 5 lbs.  This may not seem like much, but I’m down to 120 from 125.  I don’t have a lot of wiggle room in my 5′ 5″ frame before it becomes physically taxing.

What do they think it is?
Well, the next test involves eating radioactive eggs (Nice, I know.) to see how quickly I digest them.  If it’s too slow, and they think it will be, then I have a motility problem.  What caused that?  My MD thinks it’s a combination of things – extreme stress from my mother’s pulmonary embolism, my son’s episode with the neighbor boys and a dormant virus (from last fall’s acute gastroenteritis) waiting for a good opportunity to break down the nerves that control digestion.  Basically, it’s the perfect storm, according to my doctor.   He believes that they will regenerate (most do) within 6-12 months.  In the meantime, I have to follow a very strict low fat diet consisting of several small meals and liquids on the bad days.  For your own reference, your stomach will gravitationally empty liquids even when it cannot move solids.  So, ya know, if you ever need to know THAT for something.  ;)

Now, if the test shows normal motility, then we’re back to square one – gallbladder.  Apparently, all the tests can be normal for THAT, and it can still be the problem.

Light in the Darkness
I’m not a Negative Nellie, but this just plain stinks.  I didn’t get to eat any of my children’s birthday cake this weekend.  My son didn’t enjoy the day because he was worried about me.  While much of this disorder is not my fault, I can tell you that much of it IS my fault, too.  So, let me find the positive and pass along the most obvious, cliche, and yet, little heeded warnings:  Take care of yourself.  Relax.  Don’t worry so much.

While I studied so much about the proven mind-body connection in college, I didn’t feel it applied to me.  I spent my college & working years subsisting on little more than caffeine, stress and adrenaline.   That continued until, oh, just about a month ago.  Apparently, my body thinks I need a better lifestyle.  And yes, I already knew that.  You probably do, too.

My wonderful friends, you are here for a reason, reading this for a reason, so please, take my advice and take a few moments every day to relax, smile, relive a good memory, and think good, positive and constructive thoughts.  It WILL change your life and your body.  I am determined to heal mine.

I don’t know that I’d call it a true vacation.  It’s a vacation from blogging…if I can stand it.   That does not mean I won’t be posting at all.  I’ve just got some pressing things at home that need to be addressed.

I’ve got two MD appointments for myself this week to consult about my ongoing gallbladder problem, and one for my son to consult about allergy shots so he can get a dog.  Ahem, HIS idea, not mine.  Aside from that, I’ve got the double party prep I need to get pulled together for Labor Day.  That includes the final stages of scavenger hunt planning and assembly, cake baking, as well as several last minute trips for balloons and the other sentimental birthday touches.  While I could probably delegate much of this, I would never.  My children will only be seven and three once.   As long as I am able, I’ll be the one carefully choosing the balloons, spreading the icing, placing the candles and shedding the tears.  As always, I know you understand.

Even so, I’ll be posting Dollar General and some back to school items as well….sometime tonight.   But should I happen to disappear for a while, you know where I am.  :)

I so desperately want to be my light and airy self.

I just can’t find my way there today.

I couldn’t yesterday, and perhaps tomorrow will be the same.

I want to tell you what a wonderful time my son and I had making  our votive candle holders, and we did.

My rain barrel is really neat too.

It is what happened two days ago that has cast a dark shadow on every post.   And since there is no other way to say it, I’ll just come right out with it.

My 6 year old son was lured behind a vacant house (for sale and empty) two doors down and beaten by the two boys who live next door to us.

My husband and I were both outside when it happened, but had no idea what was transpiring.

He couldn’t yell for help.

We couldn’t see them.

It didn’t take long….well under 10 minutes.

My *It’s too quiet, where is he?* radar didn’t trip.

Nothing.

I only knew something was amiss when he came running home from the opposite end of our street..FROM THE HIGHWAY.

It was not unusual for these three to play together – nearly every day during the summer.

For 3 years.

This year something changed.

Out of the blue.

He has external marks – bruises and scrapes, some clear shoe prints, and cannot sit comfortably

He is also thoroughly traumatized.  He cannot stay in any room of our house alone.  He cries.  He doesn’t understand.  He’s hurt.

I’m hurting for him.  I’m raging at them.

I sat in the rocking chair with him last night, his feet dragging back and forth along the floor, until he fell asleep.  I talk.  I soothe.   I bake.  I shop.  Comfort mode.

The only deal I’m interested in right now is the one that will give my son safety.   Does this mean I won’t be posting anything?  Of course not!  I am, however, in the midst of damage control.  That takes time.

As always, I’m sure you understand.

For now, I’ll educate and be proactive on behalf of my HOMESCHOOLER, who is no more immune to bullies than children who attend school…

•  It is estimated that 160,000 children miss school every day due to fear of attack or intimidation by other students. Source: National Education Association.
• American schools harbor approximately 2.1 million bullies and 2.7 million of their victims. Dan Olweus, National School Safety Center.
• 1 in 7 Students in Grades K-12 is either a bully or a victim of bullying.
• 56% of students have personally witnessed some type of bullying at school.
• 15% of all school absenteeism is directly related to fears of being bullied at school.
• 71% of students report incidents of bullying as a problem at their school.
• 1 out of 20 students has seen a student with a gun at school.
• 282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month.
  Source: MBNBD 

Free Stop Bullying Posters 

Stop Bullying DVD, Toolkit and Activities from the US Dept of Health & Human Services

Other reputable sites: Stop Bullying , Stop Bullying.gov and Bullying.org